Wither the Birth Plan?

Today's topic: The birth plan.

In today's frenzied prenatal environment, tremendous pressure is placed, particularly on the Mother, to develop a comprehensive birth plan (click here for a Google search on birth plans). The idea is that you put together a document that addresses how you feel about different precedures and techniques that pertain to the labor and delivery process and present it to your midwife/doula/practitioner to help guide your care. What a great idea! You get to tell them exactly how you want this thing to go down.

The problem is that it doesn't really work that way. Our exhaustive research, involving a sample set of three (including us as the control), proves that the birth plan is thrown out the window 100% of the time.

Worse, the plan gives you a false impression of how it will all work, and can make you feel like a failure if you have to deviate, almost always for a problem beyond your control.

So, our simple proposal is this: Pregnant Women of the World, Unite! Throw off the chains of societal pressure and grasp the inherent Machiavellian nature of this process. The end unequivocally justifies the means. This is not to say that you shouldn't plan or have certain goals that pertain to how you want to deliver. Rather, focus on what is also a huge challenge: dealing with a new life after birth (labor lasts upwards of 18 hours, the new child's life expectancy is eighty-some years).

(The focus on the birth seems to be part of a bizarre fascination in our society with singular events that are supposed to define our lives: witness the importance of the wedding day versus the longevity of the marriage. Probably a topic for another conversation.).

Therefore, we present a new template for the birth plan:

1. Name:
2. Anticipated Due Date: (Keep in mind that this is by no means an accurate prediction)
3. If you have the choice, would you prefer to attempt a natural birth, or are you interested in pain relief options?
4. Have you read, and do you understand all of the various issues that arise during labor and delivery, and have you discussed with your midwife/doula/practioner how they normally deal with them?
5. In the end, is your ultimate goal simply to have a healthy baby?

Boom. Done.

Bonus feature!!! We will begin to feature polls that address the hottest topics of the day. The results will be treated as absolutely accurate, with no margin of error.

Did you create a birth plan?
	Yes, it worked out exactly as we planned.
	Yes, but circumstances forced us to change.
	No, but we wish we had.
	No, we didn't think it was necessary
	No. That sounds like some new-fangled touchy feely thing. I tell you, kids these days.
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