New Parents No More

Penny turns one this Sunday, which means mom and dad are no longer “new parents.” By no means experts, mom and dad have learned a lot this past year, especially what not to do.

To cap off the year, here’s a crowd-pleasing top ten list of the biggest mistakes mom and dad made.

#10: “There’s no wipes or tissues in the car.” Learning that a bigger girl has bigger poops—the car is now fully stocked.

#9: “Oops! Now mom needs to change clothes.” Stripping Penny down for her bath a little too early.

#8: “She’s really gotten tall!” Waiting about a day too long to lower the crib.

#7: “No wonder she was getting frustrated.” Noticing that the size #3 bottle nipple is for a much younger child.

#6: “She seems so active while she’s sleeping.” Realizing that maybe she’s trying to stay warm.

#5: “She just won’t eat the baby food and hasn’t touched the rice cereal.” Understanding that she has a palate, too!

#4: “I was wondering why her diapers were always leaking.” Waiting, once again, too long to change her diaper size.

#3: “Why is Penny crying every 15 minutes?” Understanding that this middle-of-the-night activity means she probably has a bad ear infection and that it’s okay to give her Tylenol.

#2: “Maybe she’d like to try feeding herself a pea?” Learning once and for all that Penny is allergic to legumes.

#1: “She won’t take the bottle!” Waiting until the day mom returned to work to “transition” from the breast to the bottle.