Tricks of the Trade

A few weeks ago, we were chatting with a friend who has recently become a new parent, again. He was sharing with us the things he was doing differently this time, such as, using room-temperature water for mixing bottles, so they do not have to be warmed during middle-of-the-night feedings.

This got us thinking, should we decide to commit to number two, what would we do differently as new parents?

• Assuming this child has fewer ear infections, work on the sleep training a bit earlier. (Okay, doable.)
• Transition from nursing to bottle and bottle to cup more gradually. (Definitely noted.)
• Take the child’s eating habits less personally. (Should do this now.)
  
• Start a blog for this child, as well. (Yeah right!)

But most importantly, read every word of every book before purchasing and giving to child!

Because, inevitably, the child will not choose as her favorite bedtime book the one with simple lyrical beauty like Goodnight Moon—“goodnight stars, goodnight air, goodnight noises everywhere”—or a delightful plot such as Bread and Jam for Frances. No…she will choose a touristy abomination that poses for a piece of prose, such as Goodnight Washington, DC.

“Good morning babies at the national zoo, are you ready for a wonderful day…? Good afternoon lawmakers, making rules for the country. Good afternoon Justices, deciding what is fair….Let’s have a picnic on the National Mall! Isn’t the Washington monument tall?”

So next time, we’ll remember some of these lessons’ learned. In fact, someday soon, Goodnight Washington, DC, may have to go away…to a nice farm…where it will get to play with lots of other pieces of bad literature.