Time Suckage

We have always been industrious people, especially on the weekends. One weekend during the winter, we suddenly decided to renovate a basement bedroom, which entailed ripping up carpet, laying tile, applying two coats of paint and replacing ceiling panels – all in about 36 hours. Our elderly neighbor has frequently commented that she believes we lie awake at night dreaming up new projects to tackle.

Now, the baby books are clear on what new parents should expect in the first few months: don’t worry about keeping the house spotless; let friends and family bring you meals; focus on getting lots of rest. What they don’t describe is the black hole into which the hours slip each day, especially on the weekends. By the time baby is fed, changed and dressed, it’s close to 9:00 a.m.; then comes coffee, breakfast and the newspaper – 11:00 a.m. It’s past 2:00 p.m. by the time your spouse asks, “What do you want to do today?” Another day has miraculously passed with little accomplished other than an occasional errand.

We’re not complaining. I’m sure that when child #2 comes along, we’ll look back on this leisure with fondness. But we have a leading theory to explain the time suckage: boob suckage.